


Let me hold both of your hands in the holes of my sweater

by Knightowl019



Series: AnemoiaVerse [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Eventual Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Physical Abuse, References to Depression, Self-Harm, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:53:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24774937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knightowl019/pseuds/Knightowl019
Summary: Arthur Kirkland is known as the kid who wears sweaters all the time, even if isn't even cold outside. He is also the kid, who's recently staying at the Jones family for a year. Nobody knows how this kid suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Except for Alfred Jones.⚠ Warning! ⚠There'll mentions of domestic abuse, depression and suicide.Please do not read if you are uncomfortable with these topics.Your health is important! Take care!⚠ Warning! ⚠
Relationships: America/England (Hetalia)
Series: AnemoiaVerse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1789918
Comments: 13
Kudos: 40





	1. Arthur's arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Alright. So this will be a lot different than other fanfics I've written so far. This will have heavy topics, it talks about depression, abuse and suicide.  
> Please, if you are uncomfortable with this, do not read for your own safety.  
> Please take care. Your health is important!

Arthur finally arrived at the airport after his long flight from Britain to the US. All he had to do now was wait for someone to pick him up. 

This was the first time he’d traveled on his own. He was exhausted from the flight and had barely got any sleep. He couldn’t sleep, he was too anxious about the new place where he was going to live for a year. A myriad of questions swirled around his head. He wondered what it would be at the Jones' house. Would it be cold and distant or warm and welcoming? Would they immediately recognize him? Would they understand him? Would they get along well? Would it be better than home?

Arthur sighed, taking his luggage from the claiming area and walked at arrival. Immediately, he saw a couple, standing with a sign that said ‘Welcome home, Arthur!’

Arthur breathed deeply and sighed. So this was it. Starting now, he was going to live one year in a foreign country. It was time to put on a smile and greet them politely, as his mother would say if she was here with him. 

**.**

**.**

**.**

The car ride seemed… pleasant for Arthur. It was different from what he was used to. The sense of tranquility and peace, he hadn’t known that for quite some time. There was no bickering, punching, kicking or shouting. None of it, it was the total opposite. Arthur was grateful for that. He was sitting at the backseat of the car, gazing outside the window. They were on the highway. Arthur stared outside and saw trees. Different kinds of trees. 

Arthur had met Emily and Tom Jones. They were, to his surprise, very kind and welcoming. The Jones weren’t exactly strangers, since Emily Jones was a college friend of his mother and kept in contact over the years. She was the one who suggested that Arthur should take a break and visit them in America.

Mrs. Jones turned around and smiled at Arthur. “By the way, Arthur, just a heads up. Our boys can be rather loud sometimes. Sorry in advance.”

As Arthur was about to speak up, Mr. Jones laughed. “Don’t you mean just Al? Don’t worry, Arthur, Alfred may be a goof at times but he’s a good kid.”

“Um...Okay.” Arthur replied. He didn’t know what else to say. He knew little about them but he did know that the Jones’ had two sons, twins in fact, who were around his age. He didn’t know more, since his mother was the one corresponding with Mrs. Jones. 

He missed his mother deeply, he was reluctant to leave. He didn’t want to leave but his mother insisted. He couldn’t argue with her. She was the only one on his side. His brothers were tyrants and were viciously cruel to him and as for his father…well, he was barely around. Not to mention, his father barely acknowledged him. 

“You know, Arthur. I’m glad you’re here.” Mrs. Jones said. 

It probably wasn’t true. She probably pitied him. And she was his mother’s friend, so she probably felt sorry. Arthur thought to himself. 

“Thank you for kindness, Mrs. Jones.” Arthur replied. 

Mrs. Jones' mouth twitched in amusement. “We’re practically family. Arthur. Don’t need to call me that. You can call me Emily or aunt Emily.”

“Same goes for me, buddy.” Mr. Jones piped in. 

“Alright. I’ll try.” Arthur nodded. 

He didn’t know how to handle these sorts of things. He rarely had any conversations with anyone, he was much of a loner. Back in his school in Britain, nobody dared to come near him. They thought he was cursed or some sort. That, however, was something his brothers had whispered into others ears. They were the ones who started rumors about him. So Arthur would usually keep to himself and would stay at the library during breaks. 

For some reason, Arthur didn’t understand why his brothers loved to torment him. The answer he got from them was that ‘he was the black sheep of the family’. 

The only person whom he had decent conversation with, was his mother, Erin. 

Arthur opened his mouth but then closed immediately. What else was there to say. He rested his forehead on the window and continued to look outside. Arthur suddenly felt tired. Oh right, sleep. He hadn’t had any in quite a while. His eye lids were becoming heavier and heavier by the second. And before he knew it, he had already drifted off to sleep lulled by the rocking of the car over the countryside.

**.**

**.**

**.**

By the time Arthur woke up. The car had stopped moving. He could tell that they were already at their destination. Just in time as well, as it seems, since he heard the engine was turned off. 

Arthur rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms. He yawned greatly. He had a peculiar dream, where he was in the US, away from his brothers. 

But there was something different. Arthur realized. 

Why was it quiet? Why hasn't he heard Angus yet? Or Connor? Or Owen? They'd normally shout at him. 

“Hey sleepyhead.” A soothing voice spoke. 

He snapped his eyes wide and remembered that it wasn’t a dream. Arthur rubbed his eyes and blinked a couple times. He turned to face Mrs. Jones, smiling at him. 

“We’re here.” She said softly. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Arthur meets the Jones brothers

Arthur walked into the living room with his luggage in his hand. 

“Here we are! Home sweet home!” Mr. Jones said. 

“Our home is also your home, Arthur.” Mrs. Jones added. She smiled sweetly at Arthur. 

Arthur couldn’t wrap his finger around on why they were so nice to him. He wasn't used to warmth and smiling faces, except from his mother that is. But she was rarely at home and he was usually alone with his brothers, and that was not something Arthur liked. 

Arthur nodded and clutched his hand tightly on the handle of his luggage. “Thank you for your hospitality, Mrs.- I mean… Um… Aunt Emily and Uncle Tom. I hope I won't be any trouble for you.”

Mrs. Jones shook her head. She looked at him with concerning eyes. 

“Arthur, we really love having you here. I finally got to meet Erin's son!” She beamed. And immediately gasped and covered her mouth, “Oh! And you'll get to meet my sons, Alfred and Matthew! And y'all get to be friends. Oh, it'll be wonderful.” 

Arthur's mouth twitched slightly upwards. Her words somehow seemed sincere and bright. It was a take of fresh air for Arthur. 

Mr. Jones looked around. “Speaking of our sons. I thought they'd be here in the living room.” He muttered. 

He walked away from the living room and took a few steps on the stairs. 

“Al! Mattie! Are you guys upstairs?” He shouted. 

Mrs. Jones chuckled and placed her hand on her forehead. 

Arthur heard muffled voices coming from upstairs. 

“Yeah, dad! What's up?!” A young voice shouted back. 

“Could you and your brother come down, please?” 

“Sure. One sec.” 

Mr. Jones shook his head and looked at Arthur. 

“Arthur, you're going to meet our boys. Alfred and Matthew.” Mr. Jones said. 

Arthur somehow felt self-conscious. He didn't really get along with kids his age. Since they didn't really give him a chance at least. 

He straightened his back and tried to put on a neutral face.

He really hoped these boys were nice, as the Jones' had claimed them to be. 

He nodded to Mr. Jones. “Alright.”

Mrs. Jones bit her lip and glanced sideways. 

“Arthur, honey. They're good kids. No need to be nervous.” She assured him. 

Arthur was taken aback. He gulped. Was it that obvious?

“Yes. Um. Thank you, aunt Emily.” He stammered slightly. 

“No worries, sweetie. I’ll be in the kitchen, if you need me.”

Mrs. Jones proceeded to the next room on Arthur’s left. Which seemed to be the kitchen, from the looks of it. From the side, Arthur could see the sink, a few counters and Mrs. Jones with the groceries.

He then heard loud thuds coming from the stairs. 

“So, is he here yet?” a boy asked, walking lazily down the stairs.

The boy had short dirty blond hair that he raked through with his fingers. He wore glasses, so Arthur couldn’t catch a glimpse of his eyes. He wore a gray t-shirt and black jogging pants. 

Arthur didn’t know why, but suddenly his heart was beating faster. 

He stood still, with his lips forming to a tight line and his emerald eyes glued onto the boy.

“Of course he is, Al.” Mr. Jones said, gesturing with his head to the right. 

Mr. Jones then walked into the kitchen, helping his wife.

The boy ,who was called Al, grinned. He faced where his father was gesturing and his eyes immediately landed on Arthur. He stopped and blinked, before he ran up to Arthur.

He extended his hand to Arthur and smiled brightly, “Hi. I’m Alfred. You can just call me Al.” He said with a wink.

Arthur stared at Alfred. He had never seen someone with such a bright smile like Alfred had. And those eyes… Arthur quietly admired his eyes. The color reminded him of a clear blue sky after a raging storm. They were calm and peaceful.

He immediately shook away his thoughts and remembered that Alfred just introduced himself. 

His hand slowly touched Alfred’s and shook his hand. 

Arthur tried to offer a small smile.

“Hello. I’m Arthur. It’s nice to make your acquaintance.”

Alfred nodded, “Right back at ya, buddy.” 

Arthur let go of his hand and looked away shyly. He didn't know what he was feeling or why his chest somehow felt weird. But for some reasons, he felt his legs were getting wobbly, like he would collapse at any minute. 

“Al, where’s your brother?” Mrs. Jones asked as she came out of the kitchen.

Alfred scratched his head and shrugged, “He's still upstairs, I guess.”

Arthur then heard a door creak coming from above. He raised his brows curiously. 

Was it perhaps the other boy? He wondered.

Another loud pair of thuds came from the stairs as a boy with shoulder-length hair ran down the stairs.

“I’m here.” The boy said quietly.

The boy had the same resemblance to Alfred, although there were minor differences. For example, his eyes were a darker shade of blue that almost looked like the color purple; his hair was longer than his brother’s and was also in a lighter shade of blond. 

“Sorry. I just turned off the console and the TV before coming down.” The boy said to Alfred and probably also to Arthur.

The boy smiled at Arthur, “Hello. I’m Matt or Mattie, short for Matthew. It’s wonderful to meet you.” 

Arthur reflected his smile and shook his hand, “And too you as well, Matthew. I’m Arthur.” 

Mrs. Jones hummed, “This is so sweet! I wanna take a picture of y’all together.” 

Alfred groaned, “Mom. You’re embarrassing us in front of Artie.”

Arthur immediately looked at Alfred. Did he just give him a nickname? He never heard anyone call him that. It was… He wasn't even sure what to make of it.

Mrs. Jones placed her hands on her hips and pouted, “I am not. Arthur, sweetie. Am I embarrassing my sons?”

Arthur felt frozen, he felt like he was put on a stage and people were staring at him. He felt all three pairs of eyes staring at him. He didn’t know what to say.

He took a step back and stammered. “Well… I don’t think so.” 

Mrs. Jones smiled at Arthur, “Thank you, Arthur.” She then pulled out her phone from the front pocket of jeans. “Now, if y’all are kind enough to scoot together and smile, that’ll be great.” 

Mattie immediately obeyed his mother’s wish and moved closer to Arthur. Alfred, on the other hand, sighed deeply before he stood beside Arthur. 

“Say cheese!” Mrs. Jones said, holding her phone in front of the boys.

“Cheese!” The boys said in unison.

Mrs. Jones examined the photo and huffed, “This turned out great you guys! Now, you two help Arthur with his luggage and show him around. While your father and I make dinner. Game?”

“Game.” Alfred and Matthew said. 

Mrs. Jones chuckled, “Have a great time you guys. And Arthur?”

“Yes, aunt Emily?” 

“Welcome home.” 

She turned around and walked back into the kitchen.

Alfred turned to face Arthur and flashed him a nervous smile.

“Sorry about my mom. She can be like that sometimes.” Alfred whispered.

Arthur shook his head, “Not at all. I think your mother is wonderful.” 

Alfred examined Arthur, “You know, you’re kinda cute.” 

Arthur felt his cheeks getting warm. He didn’t believe what Alfred had said. Was it normal to say something like that so nonchalantly?

“Um. I- Um.. Thank you?”

“And did you know that your eyebrows are huge?” Alfred added.

Arthur immediately stared down onto the ground. Did he really have large eyebrows? To think of it, he didn’t trim them or anything, was he supposed to? It never crossed his mind, but now...

“Ignore my brother, Arthur. He sometimes forgets to think before he speaks.” Matthew said as he elbowed onto Alfred’s ribs.

“Ow.” Alfred yelped dramatically, while clutching his side. He looked at Arthur and apologized.

“Um. No worries. It’s fine.” Arthur unconsciously gripped tightly on his over-sized green sweater, still staring at the ground.

Alfred cleared his throat, “So… uh. I think that Mattie, you should show Arthur where he’ll be staying. While I carry his luggage. What d’ya think?”

Mattie placed a hand on his chin while he was thinking. “I’m okay with it, if Arthur is.”

“Um… Alright, then.” Arthur agreed as he handed out his luggage to Alfred. 

“Okay! Let’s go!” Alfred said enthusiastically.

  
  



	3. Smiles and Sweaters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. There'll be mentions of cutting in this chapter. Please if you're uncomfortable with it, just skip this chapter.

Arthur and the Jones’ brothers went up the stairs.   
Upstairs, there were evidently five rooms in total, from what Matthew had told him.

It was a quiet walk between them. Arthur walked beside Matthew, while Alfred was right behind them, carrying Arthur’s luggage.

Arthur looked around the pictures on walls. They were mostly family pictures of the Jones, looking happy at the camera. Some were, what it looked like, wedding photos of Mr. and Mrs. Jones, dancing, eating cake or sharing a kiss. 

Arthur envied the pictures. That was something he barely had with his own family. Whenever they tried to take one, it always ended up in chaos. One would always make a fuss, while the other didn’t want to take a picture and another would secretly try to mess the whole thing up. The only good picture of his family was on the day of Alfred’s birth. His mother was on the hospital bed, holding Arthur in her arms. His father stood proudly beside her, plastering a small smile. On the other side of the bed were his brothers who were five years older than him. Angus, the eldest, stood in the middle, with both his arms around Connor's and Owen's shoulders, all three of them looked significantly happy in that picture.   
Even now he still wondered why they bullied him so much. 

In the corner of his eye he immediately saw a picture of Alfred and Matthew, he could distinguish the difference between the two; Alfred looked proudly with a toothy grin on his face, while Matthew looked somewhat nervously into the camera, as if he didn’t belong in that picture. 

“Man, I remember that.” Alfred spoke up, standing beside him.

Arthur flinched at Alfred’s sudden comment. It struck him that he was actually staring at the picture. He felt embarrassed.

He gave a quick glance beside him to see Alfred’s smiling face. Arthur couldn’t comprehend the reason why his heart was acting strangely again.

He then heard Alfred’s bubbly laugh. It was… adorable.

“ That picture was taken during the talent show we had during our elementary days.” Alfred explained cheerfully. 

Matthew groaned, “That was horrible. Our performance was just embarrassing and awful.” Matthew added, sounding distressed.

Alfred looked quizzically at Matthew, “Not really.”

“We made fools of ourselves by dressing up as superheroes and my dear brother of mine somehow convinced me that Alfred the butler was a superhero.” Matthew addressed. 

Arthur looked at the picture and noticed that they were both wearing costumes, Alfred wore a batman costume, while Matthew resembled Alfred the butler, which was kind of ironic. 

Arthur stifled a laugh. It was just amusing to him. How strange and weirdly nice these boys were. 

“Aw come on. You too, Artie?” Alfred asked, somewhat annoyed.

Arthur looked at him and shook his head. He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. But gave an answer either way.

“It’s just that… I um. It’s nothing.” He shrugged.

Alfred pursed his lips and hummed.

“You sure? That laugh sounded otherwise.” Alfred pointed out.

“Um. I…” 

“Al, I think we should show him his room don’t you think?” Matthew suggested.

Arthur was glad that Matthew somehow understood how suddenly uncomfortable it was for him. 

Alfred nodded, “Alright.” He walked ahead of them, and opened the door that was at the end of the hall.

Arthur sighed in relief, “Thank you.”

Matthew swayed in his hand in the air, “It’s alright. My brother can be an idiot at times and can’t read the room. But he’s really a nice guy.” 

Arthur only nodded.

They continued to walk until they caught up with Alfred.  
The room was fairly large. Arthur could see that the walls were painted blue and were covered by posters of superheroes. On the left side of the room, stood a wooden desk with a closed silver laptop on it. Beside the desk, was a large wardrobe with a mirror on it. In the middle of the room was just a rug that looked like Captain America’s shield. On the right side of the room was Alfred, placing Arthur’s luggage on a bed. 

Arthur noticed that there were two beds, on top of each other. More specifically, it was a bunk bed.   
He didn’t realize that he was going to share a room with one of them. From what he had seen, it was probably Alfred’s room.

“Welcome to your room buddy.” Alfred announced. “Well, our room actually. So yeah. We’re gonna be roommates!” Alfred added.

Arthur was confused, what about Matthew? Wasn’t this also his room or did he have a different one? Why couldn’t he just have that room instead? He asked silently to himself.

**.**  
**.**  
**.**

Arthur opened his luggage and placed his clothes in the wardrobe he shared with Alfred. 

As it turned out, this used to be Matthew's room as well but he moved to the next room beside them for reasons Arthur didn’t know. 

Matthew was outside since he had gotten an emergency text from his friend and excused himself. Alfred stayed and began to recount his life’s story as he sat down on the chair at his desk.

“And that’s what happened to our hamster Tony. Oh, good ol’ Tony, may he rest in peace…” He kept rambling on and on. At this point, Arthur wasn’t even sure if he was talking to him or not. 

He went back and forth from the bed to the wardrobe, until…

“You sure you don’t want any help with that, Artie?” 

Arthur stopped in his trails and looked at Alfred.

“I’m fine. Thank you.” 

It was not like he didn’t want help, but he didn’t want Alfred going through his stuff. He’d probably question things like the first aid kit Arthur brought that might be too weird for Alfred.

“You know. You don’t have to be so quiet and shy around me. I know that I’m a goofball but I won’t bite.” Alfred said sincerely. He then held his right hand, “Scout’s honor.” 

Arthur felt a tug slightly upwards on his lips. Never in his life had he met a boy like Alfred. He still wasn’t sure if Alfred was nice or not. But he hoped that he was. 

Arthur chuckled, “I’ll try, Alfred.”

Alfred flashed him a wide smile, “Alright.” 

Arthur sighed. It was still early to say that Alfred was somewhat annoying, he was but in a positive way, if that was a thing.   
It also seemed difficult to compromise with him.

So Arthur continued on with settling his things before he could finally rest. He picked up the next pile of clothing, which were mostly sweaters. He made one pile for his shirts, one for sweaters, another for his trousers and one for his underwear. 

Underneath that pile of sweaters was his first aid kit, hiding. He didn’t want anybody to know the reason behind it. The reason why he had a first aid kit. He was ashamed of the reason why. 

He heard Alfred huff, “I noticed that you brought tons of sweaters.”

Arthur stopped, he clutched tightly to the sweaters. He felt his heart pounding furiously. He hoped he wouldn’t get caught. He felt panic rising from his chest. He tried to breathe in. He had to calm himself down. He had to respond to Alfred’s remark. 

“Uh… It’s- It’s because I’m rather fond of them.” Arthur blurted out, placing the sweaters immediately in the wardrobe.

Alfred raised his brows, “Huh. That’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Artie.” 

Alfred stood up from his chair and opened the other half of the wardrobe. 

“Check this out.” 

Arthur noticed that Alfred had a collection of various fan-merchandise. And were those Superman briefs? 

“You’re looking at the Superman briefs aren’t you?” Alfred asked.

Arthur immediately looked away, he felt blush creeping up his cheeks. 

“Um… no.” He uttered.

Alfred laughed, “It’s okay. What I actually mean by all this, is that everyone has something going on with their lives and keeps a lot of them secret. You get me?”

“Uh no. I actually don’t.” 

“What I’m trying to say here is, just be yourself. Don’t let other people’s opinions stop you from what you want to do. Especially if they’re embarrassing.” Alfred encouraged him. 

Arthur stared at him. He didn’t know what to say. He only thought that what Alfred said was actually... nice. It was definitely not the reason why he wore sweaters but Alfred’s words were nice. He was relieved by the fact that Alfred overlooked the sweaters. 

“Um thanks, I guess.” Arthur said.

“Don’t sweat it, my man.” Alfred’s hand clasped on his shoulder, which caused Arthur to flinch. Alfred noticed his reaction and frowned, putting his hand away. “So uh maybe I should go downstairs, while you settle in.”

“Al- Alright.” 

Alfred brought his thumbs up at Arthur and went through the door.

Arthur breathed in and sighed deeply. He was now alone. Alone in a boy’s bedroom. Alone with his thoughts.   
He sat down on the bed and took a break. He slowly pushed one of his sleeves up, revealing the scars on his wrist. He brushed his fingers against them, they mixed with old and a few newer ones. The last time he had made cuts on his wrists was just a week before he went to America. He remembered the tears streaming his mother’s face as she examined both his wrists. 

Arthur shut his eyes. He hated that expression on his mother’s face. He hated the fact that he was the reason why she cried. He was responsible for that. 

Arthur felt the urge to grab the blade from his first aid kit and let it sink into his skin. But he promised his mother that he wouldn't do it again. He didn’t want to let her down. But it was just so tempting to get the blade. His skin was itching for it. It’s not like she’d find out about it, right?

Before he could run to the wardrobe, he was stopped by loud thuds coming from the stairs. He immediately pulled his sleeve down and grabbed a book from his luggage. 

The loud thuds immediately stopped at the bedroom, the door swung wide open, revealing Alfred, holding two bowls of ice cream. 

“Hey, buddy. Mom thought it’d be a good idea to take a break and eat ice cream. So, here you go.” He offered Arthur.

He slowly took the bowl from Alfred and thanked him.

“It’s nothing. Hey! We should watch a movie while we’re eating!” Alfred suggested.

Arthur smiled. He felt somewhat… glad. This was something he could get used to. Maybe he would have a great time in America after all. Hopefully.


	4. It only blooms underneath the moonlight

Arthur had been staying with the Jones’ for three days now. Alfred was beginning to worry with the tense relationship he had with Arthur. They hardly spoke another word to each other since Arthur’s arrival. Sure, there were a few 'good mornings', 'hellos' or 'good nights', but other than that nothing.

Alfred was not okay with that. He did expect him to be shy and timid, sure, but he thought it would have worn off eventually. Alfred wasn’t used to it, he wasn’t used to the shyness, the quiet and the uneasy feeling he sensed from Arthur.   
Although Alfred wanted to confront him, he decided against it and waited patiently for Arthur to open up on his own terms.   
He initiated the first step and now he had to wait for Arthur to make the next one. It wasn't exactly his idea but his mother wanted to make sure that Arthur felt at home and comfortable.  
He was confused about what she had meant by that but he took her idea by heart and would act on his best behavior, for a long as he could. 

During the days since Arthur's arrival, he mentally noted to himself that Arthur stayed up at night in their shared bedroom, reading. And if he wasn't reading, he'd scribble something in his journal.   
Alfred was curious and wanted to ask what he was doing but he remembered what his brother had told him, that he shouldn’t meddle in other’s affairs. 

Then an idea struck him, but for that he had to wait until it was dark. 

  
.   
.   
. 

  
Alfred waited until it was 11 in the evening, he had to make sure that everyone was asleep. He had to hurry or else he’d miss the event.   
Quietly, he climbed down the ladder from the upper bed.   
When he reached the bottom, he saw Arthur, laying on his stomach and reading a book with a flashlight in his hand. 

Alfred held his laughter and shook his head. Arthur didn't seem to notice him as he turned the page of the book and continued to read. 

“Psst. Hey, Artie.” Alfred whispered. 

Arthur lifted his head up and seemed to look pale as if he just encountered a ghost, “Oh… I didn't know you were awake. Apologies… Is it… Is it my fault?” He stammered. 

Alfred furrowed his brows. What was he talking about? 

“No, Artie. I’ve been awake this entire time.” He assured him. 

Arthur took a deep breath and sighed. “Alright…. Is there something you wanted from me?” 

Alfred chuckled, “Well. You could say that… Uh. I actually would like it if you would join me outside. Right now.” 

Alfred held his gaze steadily on Arthur's. He could see the confusion plastered onto Arthur's face. 

“I beg your pardon? Isn't it around midnight already?” Arthur asked. 

“No. Not yet. But there's something I wanted to show you.” 

“Is this some kind of trick?” 

Alfred replied hastily, “No. Of course not. Why would I do something like that?” 

“I don't know.” Arthur shrugged. 

Alfred took two steps towards Arthur and knelt down, placing his hands on the side of Arthur's bed. 

“Artie, I wouldn't even dream of tricking you. Trust me. There's this really cool place I got to show you and it only happens tonight.”

He saw Arthur pondering within his thoughts, he seemed as if he were struggling, debating whether he should go with him or not. 

Arthur sighed, “Alright then.”

Alfred grinned, “Awesome.”

  
**.**   
**.**   
**.**

Alfred and Arthur silently snuck out of the house. Alfred knew every nook and cranny of this house, he was certain they wouldn’t get caught by his parents. He did live in this house for sixteen years after all. 

Once they got out, Alfred led Arthur through the backyard and onto the sidewalk. 

“So… are you going to tell me where we are going… in the middle of the night?” Arthur asked with such hesitance in his voice.

Alfred turned around and caught Arthur’s emerald eyes. It hadn’t occurred to him why he was dragging Arthur out for a midnight stroll, he was barely aware of his own actions and ambitions. He never had the time to question himself, worrying or wondering if something might go wrong. But Alfred was careless about his actions, especially the consequences that would bear.

He shrugged and smiled apologetically at Arthur, “Sorry, can’t tell you. It’s a surprise. Don’t give me that look, you’ll love it. Trust me.” 

Without thinking he extended his arm towards Arthur, offering his hand to him. Before he realized what he was doing, Arthur already took his hand in his. 

Alfred gasped quietly at Arthur’s touch, he looked down on their hands. At the sight of it, Alfred’s heart began to beat faster. His cheeks were slowly warming up. Alfred tried to shrug the weird feeling he had in his chest and focused on the task at hand.

Alfred cleared his throat and tore his eyes from their hands intertwined and looked at the road ahead, “Uh yeah. So let’s just hold hands so we don’t get lost. ‘Kay?”

He heard Arthur humming quietly in agreement as they walked through the neighborhood. 

Alfred felt slightly flustered. He couldn’t believe he was holding hands with Arthur. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of it, no, he and Mattie used to hold hands like that when they were kids, so it was no problem whatsoever. Alfred was worried for the fact that Arthur might think he was weird and he didn’t want that. He wanted Arthur to like him. But why was that?

Alfred took out his phone and checked the time, he silently panicked when he saw that it was almost close to midnight. If they kept this walking pace, they’d never make it in time, even if they were almost there. So there was one way to solve this problem.

“Hey, Artie.” He turned his head to the side, facing Arthur.

“Yes, Alfred?” Arthur’s brows shot up in curiosity.

Alfred somehow suddenly felt the urge to comment on Arthur’s brows but immediately decided against it. Instead, he’d ask Arthur something important.

“Say, can you run?”

Arthur blinked, “Um… yes, I think so. Why?”

Alfred chuckled at Arthur’s curious expression, “Good. ‘Cuz we have to run if we wanna see them bloom.”

Before Arthur could question him, Alfred held his hand tightly and pulled him in his direction to run. They ran through an old tunnel and past the windmill, entering the woods.   
They came to a halt as they stood in front of a dark cave, the entrance was covered with long vines. If it wasn’t for the vines, people would have noticed the cave.

Alfred was about to go in when he felt a harsh tug coming from his hand. He wondered if there was something wrong with Arthur. He turned around and saw a frightened Arthur, shivering. 

Alfred tilted his head and smiled softly, “Artie, there’s nothing to be worried about. I know this place like the back of my hand.” 

Arthur shook his head violently, gripping Alfred’s hand tightly, “No. I- I think… we should just… just... head back.” Arthur said with a quivering voice. He bit his lip and added, “Please.” 

This made Alfred alarmed. He began to worry. He had no clue what he should do.

Did Arthur have any bad experiences with caves or something? He asked himself silently. 

Alfred sighed.   
And all the trouble he went, just to get closer to Arthur. He felt like an idiot. Dragging him into the woods in the middle of the night did seem suspicious… 

“I’m sorry to drag you out here. It’s just there was this cool flower I wanted to show you.” Alfred explained. 

Arthur had seemed to have calmed down a bit, breathing slowly, “A flower?” He whispered.

Alfred nodded, “Yeah. It says that it only blooms once a year and only at night. So I thought maybe you'd wanna check it, ya know.” He scratched the back of his head.

Arthur sighed heavily, “Why did you think that?”

“‘Cuz I want us to be friends, Artie. I thought that maybe I showed you this place that you’d like me or whatever.” He uttered the last part. He wasn’t sure why he felt shy saying that but he was.

Arthur gaped his mouth but no word came out. He closed his mouth and shook his head. 

“Let’s go back then. Sorry, Artie.” 

Alfred was about to walk back when...

“No, wait…” Arthur spoke out, “ You made an effort to plan this… And I’m quite curious about this flower.” 

“Artie, we don’t have to see it if you’re uncomfortable with caves.” 

Arthur shook his head, “I’ll be fine.. I think. You’re here so… um.”

A large smile appeared on Alfred’s face. And there it was again, his heart was acting up strangely. 

“Okay then. Ready?” 

“Um, I guess.” Arthur spoke.

“Take a deep breath.” Alfred advised.

“What?” Arthur asked, tilting his head slightly.

“It’ll help.”

Arthur did what was asked of him and breathed out.

“Now we can go inside.” 

Alfred lifted a few vines on their way in, stepping inside the cave. The cave should have been dark, if it wasn't for the hole on the ceiling, making way for the moonlight to shine and dimly light up the place.  
He took a glimpse to his side and saw Arthur's expression was in awe. Arthur's emerald eyes had sparkled in the moonlight. This left Alfred breathless. There was something about Arthur’s look that Alfred couldn’t comprehend, except for the fact he wanted to see more sides of Arthur.

“Is that the flower you were talking about?” Arthur asked, pointing his finger in front of him.

In the center of the cave, were the “flowers” Alfred had mentioned. They were three to six meters tall. On the stems were white flowers, slowly blooming. 

“Yeah. That’s what I wanted to show you.” He answered, never taking his eyes off of Arthur.

Arthur’s eyes lit up and his lips curved into a bright smile. Arthur gasped as he studied the flowers, “They’re beautiful.”

“Yeah, they are.” Alfred said, not paying attention to the flowers but to Arthur. 

“But you know… that’s a cactus.” Arthur stated quietly.

Alfred huffed and ran his hand through his face, “Looks like a flower to me.”

Arthur’s jaw dropped and he looked at Alfred with furrowed brows. He seemed as though he wanted to quarrel with Alfred but decided against it. 

He shook his head and laughed, “Either way, thank you for bringing me here. It was a good idea.”

Alfred blinked and chuckled, “Aw, it’s nothing really. I’m glad you like it.” 

Arthur glanced at the cacti and back at Alfred. He bit his lip before he spoke, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Alfred nodded.

“How did you find out about this place?” Arthur asked.

Alfred advised Arthur to sit down with him, so Arthur pulled his hand away from Alfred as he sat down. Alfred quietly missed the warmth of Arthur’s hand and joined Arthur. They continued to watch the flowers bloom, at the same time, he explained to Arthur of his knowledge about the cave and the “flowers”. 

Alfred and a few of his friends had stumbled upon the cave a few years ago and it seemed that not a lot of people knew of its existence, hence creating it into their clubhouse or just a place where they could hang out after school. The vines weren’t originally there in the first place, it served the purpose of being an illusion.

“Illusion?” Arthur asked.

“Yeah. Come on, did you think there was something behind the vines or not?”

“Hmm. It’s dark so I can’t judge that.” 

Alfred smiled triumphantly, “Either way, it works.”

Arthur rolled his eyes and shook his head, “So were the flowers already here when you discovered the cave?” 

Alfred shook his head and continued on.

He had told Arthur that it was a souvenir from their friend Antonio, who visited a few relatives in South America. Almost everyone in their group argued on who should keep the cactus (or “flower”, since Alfred was certain it was a flower). So Antonio decided they should plant it in the cave for everyone to see whenever they like.

Arthur hummed and placed a hand on his chin, “It does make sense.” He commented.

“Right? So here we are.” He waved his hand in the air. 

“Here we are.” Arthur repeated. He slightly tugged on his sweater and sighed, “Alfred?”

“Yes?” Alfred raised his brows.

“Does… this mean… we’re… we’re friends?” Arthur stuttered.

“I hope so…. Do... you want us to be?” 

“I… Yes.. I’d like that.” 

Alfred punched in the air, “Great!” He shouted, his voice echoing throughout the cave. 

Alfred was ecstatic! He finally achieved his goal of becoming Arthur’s friend. Everything turned out wonderfully after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay the description on the cactus was awful. Sorry.   
> Anyways it's actually based on a real one.   
> Here's the link if you're curious and want to see what it actually looks like:  
> https://www.plantsrescue.com/cereus-peruvianus/


	5. First Impressions (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. It has been a month since I last updated. But guess what? Here's a new chapter that will be split into two parts.  
> So yeah

  
The week had suddenly flown by and Arthur had no choice but to prepare for the worst, high school. This was something he wasn't looking forward to. It wasn’t that Arthur wasn’t fond of schools, it was only the people who went to school with him. Back in Britain, his classmates barely spoke a word with him except when it came to group projects and such. But other than that they didn’t even share a glance at Arthur. There were some kids who would mess with him, due to the rumors his brothers had spread.  
He desperately hoped that this would be different. Luckily, his brothers weren’t here to mess this up for him. And most importantly, nobody knew him, so that was already a good thing. 

He stared at his reflection, in the mirror that was connected to the wardrobe. He sighed heavily.   
Maybe this was a bad idea, he thought to himself. Maybe, I still have a chance to go back or maybe I could just go tomorrow or may-

“Don’t worry, Artie. You look great!” Alfred spoke up, causing Arthur to break his doubtful train of thoughts.

Arthur kept staring in the mirror and noticed Alfred, standing beside him with his usual cheerful smile.   
He averted eyes away from Alfred’s reflection and focused on himself. For a second, he felt his heart jumping out of his chest. Maybe this was a sign that he was incredibly nervous. 

“You’re just saying that, Alfred.” Arthur spoke in hushed tones.

Still, Alfred managed to hear Arthur’s words. He shook his head in response to Arthur’s negativity.

“Nah, dude. I never lie when it comes to looks. Actually, I don’t know how to lie.” Alfred muttered that last part and continued, “Anyways, I’m pretty sure that at the end of the day, there’ll be girls fawning over you.” 

Arthur creased his forehead. Why did Alfred say that?   
He felt his cheeks burning up at Alfred’s words. He looked away from the mirror and pretended to play with the sleeves of his sweater. His pulse was now racing faster. 

“What makes you say that?” Arthur stuttered.

“Well first off, girls dig guys with accents and second, you kinda give off a mysterious vibe.” Alfred explained. 

For some reason, Alfred’s words made Arthur smile. It was somewhat humorous.

Arthur doubted that. He didn’t believe Alfred’s words, it seemed utterly ridiculous. Why in the world would Alfred say such things? And why would girls fawn for him?   
Alfred was unexpectedly different from what he originally thought of him. But that night when they saw ‘the Queen of the Night’ bloom, it ultimately changed his perspective on Alfred.

“Alfred… that’s a bit flattering, I suppose. But how is this helping exactly?” Arthur asked. 

Alfred gave a nervous chuckle, “Uh. Well… you see, I thought it might cheer you up. And uh… well I guess I did just that.” Alfred stumbled on his words.

Arthur peeked a glance at Alfred’s reflection. He noticed the slight blush on Alfred’s cheeks. 

“Thank you, Alfred.” 

Alfred stared blankly at Arthur for a moment, before grinning widely like the Cheshire cat. 

“Don’t sweat it. It’s a hero’s job after all!”

Arthur raised his brow, “A hero?”

“Yep!” Alfred placed a finger on his mouth, “But don’t tell anyone that okay?” He said with a wink.

“Alright.” 

He had no clue what else he had to say. Only that Alfred was full of surprises.

But then, Alfred continued, “But seriously. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“What makes you so sure about that?” 

“Well… Just a feeling, I guess. Never been wrong about that.” Alfred shrugged.

Arthur had mixed feelings when it came to Alfred’s positivity. He came to believe that Alfred only saw the bright side of life. Sure, he silently admired it but it was also somewhat troubling. Alfred barely had any doubts about anything.   
Arthur tried to make sense of him. But he just couldn’t find what made him tic, yet. 

“Oh shoot. We gotta go. Don’t wanna be late for the first day of school now, do we?” Alfred said as he checked his watch.

Arthur shook his head. He was not ready to go to school but he didn’t exactly have a choice. He took a deep breath and tried to silence the doubts in his mind. He had to do this. He probably might survive high school. Or at least try.

.  
.  
.

Alfred and Arthur walked their way to school. It was a twenty minute walk to school, so that seemed pleasant.   
It had been silent between both sides of the party until they heard shouting behind them.

“Hey guys! Wait for me!”

Both Arthur and Alfred turned around and saw a boy running towards them. From afar Arthur could see he had auburn hair that reached to his shoulders.

Without any caution, Alfred leaned closer to Arthur and whispered in his ear, “That's Tolys.”

Alfred's warm breath on his ear made Arthur shiver. He was going to say something in return but Alfred pulled back and waved at Tolys. 

“Hey man.” Alfred greeted him.

As Tolys caught up to them, he placed his hands on his knees and paused, trying to catch his breath.

“Tolys, this is Artie or Arthur, since that’s his real name. He’s the one staying at my place.” Alfred said, making introductions for the two, “Artie, my man. This is Tolys, he’s one of my close buds. 

“Hello Tolys.” Arthur greeted quietly.

“Hey… you two… Glad I caught up. Phew.” Tolys said, wheezing.

Alfred chuckled, “Woah. Take it easy, man. Wow, it’s like you ran a marathon or something.” 

“Did… did you run all the way over here?” Arthur asked.

Tolys nodded his head, “Yeah. I thought I was going to be late, so I immediately ran as soon as I got out of the house.” 

Alfred whistled, “Wow, alright that explains it.” 

Tolys let out a breathy laugh and stood straight up. 

“Alright, I think I’m good to go.” 

They continued on their way, Alfred took the lead, walking a few steps ahead of them, rambling on and on about his expectations for the new school year.   
Meanwhile, Arthur and Tolys were right behind him, walking silently side by side. 

“So, Arthur. It’s nice to meet you.” Tolys spoke up, smiling shyly at Arthur.

Arthur smiled lightly, “Likewise.”

“First day of school, huh? What do you think?” Tolys asked, walking beside Arthur. 

What did he think of the first day of school? Horrifying and he hadn’t even gone to school just yet. The thought of school made him feel uneasy. But he couldn’t say that, so instead…

“It’s okay, I suppose.” Arthur tried to shrug.

Tolys expression softened, “It’s okay if you feel nervous. Trust me, we’ve all been there.” Tolys assured him, “Honestly, I still kind of am.” 

“Really?” Arthur asked.

“Yes. But it’s normal. I mean it’s school, it makes everyone nervous.” 

“Not me!” Alfred piped in, shifting to face Arthur and Tolys while walking backwards. 

Tolys rolled his eyes and shook his head. He leaned closer to Arthur and said quietly, “He only says that to impress you.” 

Arthur blushed and looked away. What did that mean ‘to impress him’? 

Before he could think any further, they had arrived just in time for the bell to ring, causing Arthur to flinch at the sound. 

He noticed that Alfred had suddenly disappeared from them. He tried not to panic and not to cause a scene on the first day, so he took a deep breath and sighed. He looked at Tolys, who pointed in the direction where Alfred went off to. 

He saw Alfred running to a short boy with a bowl cut. He tried to listen to the conversation they were having but he was too far away. 

  
He frowned. He felt disappointed. Sure, he did expect Alfred to leave him alone at some point, but not on the first day, it was too soon. 

Arthur felt a hand on his shoulder. His first instinct was to pull away and slap the unknown hand, but as he turned to see the culprit, Tolys smiled at him. 

“We should head over there.” Tolys suggested.

Arthur nodded and walked with Tolys towards Alfred and the short boy. Alfred turned to them and waved them over.

“Artie! There’s someone I’d like you to meet!” He shouted, even though Arthur was just a few steps away from him. 


End file.
